Tag: relationships

Trial Size

Sloping down and then back up, like a speeding truck, I am searching for your love. Transubstantiate, lift then push, then go all out, a mystery solved, doubts soothed, memories calmed, nightmares called what they are. Do you dream at night? I do. I fly through the sky on my back, steering with my feet. Trial size.

Negative

Sometimes I feel

Like I’m going to burst.

I think of the outcome

That is the worst.

I cry inside

Because it’s not safe

In my mind’s

Emotional landscape.

Tears well up

Upon my lids.

They overflow,

The reality is.

Sometimes I break down,

To nothing special.

A mood, a thought,

I always mess up.

In the end,

I know that I

Am not alone,

So, I just sigh.

Both Ways

Sharing smothered thoughts,

Restricted feelings abound.

Hesitation rules the imagination,

Hiding from the truth,

Although it tortures me.

Yearning for stability,

Some kind of consistency.

If only I could have it both ways!

Truth in Love

Heavy thoughts

And sinking feelings

Got me caught up

In a sea of sadness.

I wish she knew,

Only a good friend

Tells the truth,

Even when you

Don’t want to hear it,

Even when you

Don’t believe it.

Someone who cares

Doesn’t lie to your face

Just to make you feel good.

It’s hard to be that

Kind of friend,

Because you risk

The friendship.

But if you lie,

There’s no friendship

To lose.

So True

Moving towards you, in a roundabout

Sort of way. I feel the weight of my fear.

No, Mom and Dad didn’t tell me how to

Speak confidently, converse about things

Like interests and hobbies, to discuss the

Issues of the day. So, what is important

To you? I want to know, so true.

Ouch

When I turn my eyes in your general

Direction, and rest my gaze on your face

Or body, just for a moment; and in that

Moment, you catch my eye with yours,

Do you wonder what’s going through my

Head, what I’m feeling, why I’m looking?

I wish I knew. But it just happens. Ouch.

Just You

I was at a party

And three of my ex-girlfriends

Showed up.

I knew I was in trouble then.

…
But you weren’t there yet

And one kissed me on the lips

And covered my face

With all her lipstick.

…
I panicked then,

And asked my friends

To run interference,

As the other two arrived.

…
Just then, I saw you,

And I couldn’t wait

To run to you

And tell you

…
Just how beautiful

You are to me,

How all my dreams came true

When me became we

…
And how I’ll never want

Another hand

In mine.

Just you.

…
When I hear your voice

It’s like the clouds

Opened up

And sunshine’s bathing on me.

…
And when I feel you close

I want to touch

I want to feel

I want to know

…
You feel the same

About me.

I am yours

Like I said at the beginning.

…
And I’ll never want

Another hand

In mine.

Just you.

Our Own Traveler

Every day

We find our rhythm

In much the same routine.

 

Sometimes

We meet different people

That color our lives

 

With dignity and love,

And leave a lasting impression.

These instances are rare.

 

Usually,

We go round in circles,

Making our indentation

 

In life, the world and time.

Like a beautiful sea shell

We become a treasure

 

Through our experiences,

Our relationships,

And our gifts.

 

 

(Magpie Tales,

Mag 69)

 

Digging for Truth

Deep down, I dig to the bottom.
What lies in this hidden depth?
Fear, grief, rage, confusion…
It rocks my reason, clouds my vision.

But what is the answer?
Where is the road out of this darkened wood?
Is it faith? Trust? Logic? Courage? Peace?
Is Love the answer? Where will it take me?

Right now everything is scary.
I feel caught in a cage,
In chains, buried deep underneath
Miles of ground, isolated by time,

Place, and no relationships that bring
Relief, connection, revelation, peace.
Anxiety rules the roost, it conquers all.
Fear is my father, abandonment is my mother.

Rage is my brother, grief is my sister.
This is my family. My friends are shadows,
Ghosts in a mist that only evaporate in my
Hands when I reach out to hold their hands.

I am lost in my mirrors, erroring in my program,
Nothing makes sense, nothing works.
What is the truth? Who is my savior?
From where does my salvation come?