Weatherman

Filled

To the rim

With anxiety,

Like a rising tide,

My feet don’t reach

The bottom.

I cannot get a sense

Of where I am.

Everything around me

Seems to happen

In slow motion,

While my emotions reel

Like tossing waves.

My mind tries to balance,

But is tossed about

Like a little boat.

Gravity plays with me

Like a child

With his toys,

Crashing them together,

And zooming them around.

I am natures plaything,

In the storm,

I am the storm,

I am a bystander,

I am a weather man,

Like an idiot,

Standing outside

In the wind and rain,

Talking to the camera

Until I can barely stand up.

Time to take my meds.

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Perseverance

Merry Go Round

I’m feeling normal.

I’m feeling blah.

I’m doing nothing.

I’m falling apart.

Nothing changes.

It’s all a merry go round.

We’re getting nowhere.

We’re falling off the edge.

Can you see the danger?

Can you feel the pulsing beat?

Do you feel my heart?

I’m numb down to my feet.

Let us set a course.

We’ve got to go somewhere.

Let us try to make it.

We’ll go from here to there.

Something’s got to give.

We’ve got to accomplish it.

We must start to live.

I know I can do it.

So here we go,

In a merry go round.

Spinning circles.

We’re going nowhere fast.

How long will this last?

Headed Down

Flying in circles,

Spiraling down,

Headed straight

For the barren ground.

Screaming for my god

To save me today.

If only have mercy,

A bit of grace.

I see the red flags

Following me.

Everyone knows

My mind tends to flee.

Can you see the remnant

Of my failing try?

Can you see me fall

From up on high?

I’m headed down

To the barren ground,

To dig me a hole

And never come out.

This Dark Thing

In the maze of my mind,

There is this dark thing

That follows me around.

It changes hats, periodically.

Sometimes it’s anxiety,

Sometimes it’s depression,

Sometimes it’s hypomania.

All of the time it feels like

A heavy weight pushing me down.

It cringes at new experiences,

Full of worry.

It wonders if I will make it

Through today.

It hurts and it cries,

And it whines and complains.

Oh, how lovely

To have a mental illness!

The Base

Bell ring sound thing but how ding dong

Do you think I’m able to drink from the

Fountain of mirth slow table so search

Drab covers hide glad tidings minuet so

Delve into duty with one foot on the base

Songs

Careful one means cautious two for you.

So much to chat about but not the will to

Chat. How was yours? Mine was fine.

Hope you are well. Being well is half the

Battle. Sometimes soft, soothing songs.

Full Circle

Knowledge sex intertwine exchange

Merely showing off catch cling walk

Togetherness ideas dreams whisper

Calling grown up respect beliefs wait

Yelling expression argument curse

Waiting for a Miracle

Drooping flower hangs over.

The rain is so heavy.

No new blooms today.

Soil is contaminated,

Roots are exposed.

Reaching up for sunlight.

Climbing to the sky.

Once the weather was nice.

Once the ground was fertile.

Now it’s just rocks and used up dirt.

No nutrients to feed the plant.

But hope remains.

The rain will bathe

The thirsty leaves.

The sun will shine.

There is a miracle coming soon.

Trust

Rasping, coughing,

Breathing deep.

Crushing, drowning,

How I weep.

Lift my spirit

With your Spirit,

Living God of the ages.

I will trust your gentle hand.

I will hope for the promised land.

You will save me,

Hold me, keep me.

You are always faithful.