A Leisurely Day

Jump into a pile of leaves.

Ride your bike down a hill.

Run a marathon or two.

Capture her smile in a Kodak moment.

Slide underneath the covers

In a nice, warm bed,

On a crisp, cool night.

Sleep well.

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Free Moments

Sift your thoughts.

Jump on your horse.

Ride into the distant setting sun.

Close your blinds,

Lay down and rest.

Be happy when life is good to you.

Put on your trousers,

One leg at a time.

Dream up a cure for cancer,

In one of your free moments.

A Miracle

Gliding along the currents of air,

I’m lifted by the light that shines on me.

Love permeates my being,

Like a spear piercing my side.

The nails are hammered through

My ragged wrists. I cry out,

My God, my God, why?

Have you forsaken me?

The dusk descends and they lower

My cross, loosen my body

And carry me to my tomb.

I stand on a mountaintop.

Throw yourself down!

God’s angels will save you.

Turn these stones into bread.

You are hungry. Go ahead.

Freedom! I am set free by God’s hand.

Risen at last and the tombstone

Is rolled away.

Contemplation

Drifting through inner space,

My mind will never win a race.

Can you feel the wind blow

Inside and out, it pushes me

To my destination. The spoon stirs

The tea in the cup.

Sweetened with sugar, I drink right up.

I’m falling asleep, but it’s only 9 a. m.

Look at all the trees beginning to bloom.

Merry Go Round

I’m feeling normal.

I’m feeling blah.

I’m doing nothing.

I’m falling apart.

Nothing changes.

It’s all a merry go round.

We’re getting nowhere.

We’re falling off the edge.

Can you see the danger?

Can you feel the pulsing beat?

Do you feel my heart?

I’m numb down to my feet.

Let us set a course.

We’ve got to go somewhere.

Let us try to make it.

We’ll go from here to there.

Something’s got to give.

We’ve got to accomplish it.

We must start to live.

I know I can do it.

So here we go,

In a merry go round.

Spinning circles.

We’re going nowhere fast.

How long will this last?

Headed Down

Flying in circles,

Spiraling down,

Headed straight

For the barren ground.

Screaming for my god

To save me today.

If only have mercy,

A bit of grace.

I see the red flags

Following me.

Everyone knows

My mind tends to flee.

Can you see the remnant

Of my failing try?

Can you see me fall

From up on high?

I’m headed down

To the barren ground,

To dig me a hole

And never come out.

A Normal Day

A “normal” day

Is an unusual occurrence

For those of us

With bipolar.

But if our meds

Are doing what they’re supposed to,

And drama is kept to a minimum,

Occasionally,

We might find ourselves

Having a normal day.

I had a normal day today,

And it felt good.

Not so stressful

As a typical day,

I wasn’t anxious

Like I usually am.

I was just me,

Living life,

Almost like a normal person.

This Dark Thing

In the maze of my mind,

There is this dark thing

That follows me around.

It changes hats, periodically.

Sometimes it’s anxiety,

Sometimes it’s depression,

Sometimes it’s hypomania.

All of the time it feels like

A heavy weight pushing me down.

It cringes at new experiences,

Full of worry.

It wonders if I will make it

Through today.

It hurts and it cries,

And it whines and complains.

Oh, how lovely

To have a mental illness!