Reaching out takes reaching in
For something stable, something strong.
Sharing of feelings, thoughts and struggles
Takes strength, trust, and bravery.
Those who always keep their heart
Closed tighter than a coffin,
Buried six feet under a swaggering attitude
And a big bright smile,
Don’t really know what it’s like
To connect, to hold another’s heart
In your hand, gently, oh so gently
And give it back when they are ready.
To give healing, and to receive it back,
There must be two persons willing to risk
A broken heart, a cold shoulder, a deadly stare.
To risk rejection is not easy, and it is not done
Lightly, or carelessly, when it is really done.
To give another something you hold dear,
If only for a moment, is like risking a fortune,
And takes more fortitude. But the gamble
Is for wonders immeasurable,
Jewels much more precious:
Understanding, acceptance, compassion.
These treasures are priceless.
Searching for that connection.
Where is he? She? It?
Where or who is God,
When I am here, in this broken
Body, groveling before the pain
Of existence, desperate for some
Type of relief, some release
From the slavery of my body?
My heart aches. My soul cries out
For mercy, but where is my God?
Where is that freedom, that grace,
That hope, that love, that I once knew?
Where is my identity in Christ?
Where is my savior?
All I know right now is suffering.
Is that you, Lord?
Am I meeting you where you are,
Where you were on that cross?
And if so, what will be the victory?
What great battle is going on?
Is my soul the battleground?
Is my heart the prize?
Is this what it takes to bring me
Back into your fold?
To break me, mold me,
Shape me into something beautiful?
But I have been here before.
I have been broken.
Must I be continually broken
In pain and suffering?
What are you trying to teach me?
And where are you taking me now?
Deep down, I dig to the bottom.
What lies in this hidden depth?
Fear, grief, rage, confusion…
It rocks my reason, clouds my vision.
But what is the answer?
Where is the road out of this darkened wood?
Is it faith? Trust? Logic? Courage? Peace?
Is Love the answer? Where will it take me?
Right now everything is scary.
I feel caught in a cage,
In chains, buried deep underneath
Miles of ground, isolated by time,
Place, and no relationships that bring
Relief, connection, revelation, peace.
Anxiety rules the roost, it conquers all.
Fear is my father, abandonment is my mother.
Rage is my brother, grief is my sister.
This is my family. My friends are shadows,
Ghosts in a mist that only evaporate in my
Hands when I reach out to hold their hands.
I am lost in my mirrors, erroring in my program,
Nothing makes sense, nothing works.
What is the truth? Who is my savior?
From where does my salvation come?
stash a sin here and there,
run so fast, you can’t see tomorrow,
when–and where–are you?
do you envision
or just jump in?
a guess, a hunch, a feeling:
it’s all the same in the end,
but what if it’s not?
what if regret only comes
when you listen to the whisper
in your head,
be it conscience, God, whatever,
and you ignore it?
what if you move so swiftly
you can’t hear the wind
blowing in the trees
as you pass through
the outer rings of the hurricane?
what if you drive your little hot rod,
a corvette on a highway,
or a speed boat in the ocean,
right for the center?
will there be a calm to the storm,
if you arrive in time?
Please post here if you have any suggestons for the “Stumbling along the sidewalk” site. I value any and all suggestions and would love to hear from you!
Thanks for reading my poetry blog. Subscribing to this blog is the best way to support me right now.
If you like my poetry blog and you’d like to hear more, you can subscribe to “Stumbling along the sidewalk” by email, RSS, or if you are blogging on WordPress, by using the Subscribe button on the top toolbar when you login. For those of you who want email, you can click on the link at the top of sidebar on the left. The link to RSS is available on the right, above the post area.