A Second Guess

How do you know

What to do

When you don’t feel quite right,

And you’re not getting through

Life unscathed,

And you can’t really sue?

I wonder

If I should have

Gone to get help

When my empty head

Was playing tricks on me.

I wonder if I should have stayed,

When I had a choice to make.

But was I free to choose?

Family and friends

Supported me.

The doctors were helpful,

So also the nurses,

Some of them, anyway.

I think it was good

That I stuck around,

But the journey was full

Of grief and regret.

Hindsight’s 20/20,

As they say.

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Sloping down and then back up, like a speeding truck, I am searching for your love. Transubstantiate, lift then push, then go all out, a mystery solved, doubts soothed, memories calmed, nightmares called what they are. Do you dream at night? I do. I fly through the sky on my back, steering with my feet. Trial size.