Tag: fear

Southern Charm – Part 1

On a cool morning in the Tallahassee, Florida suburbs, Amy is walking her cocker spaniel, Sunshine, along the edge of the street. There are no sidewalks in front of the houses, but the vehicle traffic is light this morning. It’s a Tuesday, around 7:00 a.m. As Amy and Sunshine approach an intersection with a major street, a man comes around the corner walking his dog, a terrier mix. Just as Amy is about to look the other way, so as to avoid eye contact, the man says, “Good morning,” with a smile. Amy is taken aback a bit, but she doesn’t want to appear rude, so she replies with a “Good morning,” back. But she feels a bit nervous as she comes closer, and decides to turn around and run home, Sunshine running along with her. As she closes the front door to her house, bends down and unfastens Sunshine’s leash, Amy thinks to herself, I know it’s common for people to greet each other in this town, but something just didn’t feel right.

Carried Away

Life flowing from my heart

Is cut down by rivers of doubt.

The rushing water wears down

My early oaths and affirmations,

Slowing my faith to a halt.

My simple plan to ditch the man of the gospels,

Runs into blockades along the way.

Nests of love, peace and grace

Call me away from my solitary journey.

I sometimes fight the current,

Or allow myself to rest,

But naturally I am carried away

By the fantasies and delusions

Of my silly imagination.

Not Resting

Neon bikes strobe laugh elbow monster trachea

Destroy aluminum casserole covers close the dog

In the darkness of the garage wound my knee on

The fledgling goose beak as I walk through the park,

Home is where I rest, but I am not resting.

The Fight

With a battering ram strapped to my forehead,

I push through the glistening walls of the great cathedral.

But for what?

Has this victory won me anything of value?

After all, the war has already been won by my adversary,

And this stub in the toe is no big loss to him.

My screams in the darkness win me no favors,

Gain me no pity, although he may shed a tear.

Shall I continue to throw stones through stained glass windows,

Knowing I am only hurting those I love and who love me?

Whom am I fighting, anyway, if not myself?

Reaching Out

Reaching out.

Waves crashing,

At my feet.

Love crushing

The air

Out of my lungs.

What is to be

Expected

From my great God

Next?

Joy is pulling out

My fingernails.

Peace is knocking me

Unconscious.

What can I give

To board the train

Going up the hill?

What can I say

To bring mercy

To my body

And soul?

Grace

Is beating me

To a pulp.

Jesus,

Save me

From your church!

Save me

From society!

The powerful

And the rich

Hover above

My bleeding body,

Like vultures.

How can I escape?

Frosting

Smile lack so sad smooth life is not that weep for the end is near the beginning is coming the satisfaction of all will be found on the mountaintop.

Close the door (the end is near) but don’t fear for god is here. Womb shallow river pour out on this congregation of ne’er do wells and corrupt citizenry and ghost town revelers.

So much to leave behind a simple backpack is all I carry a sack with no lunch nothing but a cup to fill with water when I can.

Can you find the ancient ruins beneath the supermarket? The burial ground under the rollercoaster? What’s new? I don’t have a clue.

I like endings. Beginnings, not so much. I like meandering and intoxicating and flurries on a cool night. I like rivers and hills and dead man’s curve.

Do you see the end coming? It’s near, I tell you! Really close but doubt comes closer and I believe in doubt. I like to humor doubters and double crossers and hooligans.

How many doubts does it take to make a faith? How many truths does it take to make a scripture? So many confusing sorts of dreams and all kinds of visions and stalactites and frosting.

Lost

I want to get closer,

But I’m afraid.

I want to pray,

But I’m not sure

Who I’m praying to.

So many different images

In my mind,

Competing for my

Attention.

Who are you,

And what do you

Want from me?

Can I trust you?

I look at all

The imperfect people

In my life,

And I struggle

To understand

Words like

Perfection,

Love,

Righteousness,

Holiness,

Sanctification,

Charity,

Divinity…

The list goes

On and on.

Can you tell me:

What is true,

And

What is a lie?

I’m lost.

A Prayer for the World

I closed my eyes to the world,

For I could not bear another

Moment of its peril,

Persecution and sword.

All the fighting was too much

To take in each day,

The cruelty and carnage,

The swearing and insulting,

Turning heads to wrongs abounding.

So, my hope was hanging

In a precious balance.

Whether I could go on,

Was in doubt, for sure.

I decided to appeal

To my higher power,

The merciful God of Spirit,

Who had rescued my life from ruin.

Somehow, there must be possibility

For my present earth to reconcile

All this shambles of civilization,

A carcass of the creation

That existed so many years ago.

I prayed a solemn petition,

Asking Jesus for His grace,

A gentle dose of mercy

For this time and place.

And so I placed my trust

In the heaven above,

Shedding no more tears for the future.

I know it is in God’s hands,

And I believe that is enough.

Up

I was going to say

Something wonderful,

But I stopped short of wonder,

And went with terrible, instead.

It seemed more appropriate,

And I was content.

I thought I might compliment

All the impressive things

Being done in the world,

But before I got very far,

I contemplated the war machine,

And colonization, and slavery,

So I let it be, and moved on.

So many good people doing good things,

It makes me want to have faith,

But instead I think about

Corruption, shootings and partisanship,

And I want to throw up.