Tag: connection

Starting Point

Don’t remember much about you,

From growing up.

Don’t know if we didn’t have many

Meaningful conversations,

Or if we didn’t emotionally connect,

Or if you just weren’t around.

I see you in the few pictures

We still have left.

That’s proof! I shout,

To nobody in particular.

You were there.

You came to my games,

To my concerts,

To my awards ceremonies.

But did you say anything to me?

Anything memorable?

Anything impressionable?

Anything teachable?

Why don’t I remember you?

I know you were proud of me.

I felt your support when I knew

You were there.

But what did it mean?

What was our relationship like?

Did we ever talk about things?

And why didn’t I ever go to you

For help, when I got into the many

Conflicts, arguments and problems

With family or friends?

If you were there, if you were around,

Why didn’t I take advantage of it?

Maybe you weren’t the problem.

Maybe I just didn’t know

What to say, how to ask,

How to express myself.

Maybe I didn’t quite understand

What families and friends are

All about?

I didn’t know how to safely

Navigate those potentially perilous

Waters, without asking questions

From someone more experienced,

Someone wise, someone loving,

Someone who cares.

And maybe that’s why I have

Such a hard time believing in God,

Believing he’s there for me,

Offering grace, tenderness, mercy,

Forgiveness, wisdom and guidance.

I don’t have a relationship that

Means something because

I don’t know how to connect,

How to ask for help,

How to express my thankfulness.

I don’t even sense his quiet support,

His delight in his child.

Identity

It’s a part of me,

My personality,

My sexuality,

Individuality.

I am unique,

The way God made me,

The way my parents raised me,

The things I’ve discovered

Along the bumpy way.

There’s no shame

In being this way—

Just because it was

Never mentioned in church,

Or school,

Or at home.

Even the basics

Were not taught.

Trial and error

Was my only way

To discover my body,

To find out

What it means

To be human.

To experiment

Inside and out,

To pop those bubbles

Of misconception,

Perversion of religion,

Crucifixion.

Cutie Pea

Distance grows

In the reflection of sunsets,

Deep in the pupils of your eyes.

Around your bright blue irises,

The once clear white

Is streaked with bloodshot,

And the skin on your cheek

Sags with the gravity of age,

And the weight of worries,

Long forgotten,

Though carried still.

What happened

To the happy-go-lucky girl

That I married,

Experimenting and experiencing

Life to the fullest,

Young and fresh and free?

Oh, those were the days:

Going on long walks together,

Holding hands.

Staying up late at night

And into the morning,

Just talking.

Intoxicated with each other.

Yes, that girl is gone,

But in her place is a woman,

Stronger, braver and wiser.

A more confident and courageous

Caretaker and leader,

Someone who takes risks.

Weathered by suffering and loss,

But soft and loving to the end.

A much improved confidante,

A loyal partner,

A treasured friend.

Carried Away

Life flowing from my heart

Is cut down by rivers of doubt.

The rushing water wears down

My early oaths and affirmations,

Slowing my faith to a halt.

My simple plan to ditch the man of the gospels,

Runs into blockades along the way.

Nests of love, peace and grace

Call me away from my solitary journey.

I sometimes fight the current,

Or allow myself to rest,

But naturally I am carried away

By the fantasies and delusions

Of my silly imagination.

The Fight

With a battering ram strapped to my forehead,

I push through the glistening walls of the great cathedral.

But for what?

Has this victory won me anything of value?

After all, the war has already been won by my adversary,

And this stub in the toe is no big loss to him.

My screams in the darkness win me no favors,

Gain me no pity, although he may shed a tear.

Shall I continue to throw stones through stained glass windows,

Knowing I am only hurting those I love and who love me?

Whom am I fighting, anyway, if not myself?

The Lord’s Prayer with commentary

Our Father, the best father imaginable, and if not imaginable, the best Mother, or Brother, or Sister, or Friend;

Who art in Heaven, that place that isn’t a place, the perfect state of being, of existing, of living; that paradise of another dimension;

Hallowed be thy name, holy, righteous, special, divine, separate, perfect, lovely, beautiful, worthy of worship by all, Daddy, Momma, Grandpa, Grandma, Uncle, Aunt, Friend, Confidante;

Thy Kingdom come, a world where God’s love and holiness is the guiding principle for all, an experience of grace that exists right now, anytime, is accessible to all, no matter where they live or what state their life is in;

Thy Will be done, a state of purpose that comes only from God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit; A goal that has already been achieved on the Cross, by paying the sacrificial debt for the sins of the world, from the beginning to the end of time; The perfect obedience and righteous existence that comes from God’s gift to humanity;

On earth, as it is in heaven, can you imagine everyone on the earth following God’s will? Can you imagine anyone obeying 100% of the time? Well, it happens sometimes, which is a miracle in itself;

Give us this day our daily bread, give us physical, emotional and spiritual sustenance , whatever is necessary to do God’s will, God provides it, and all we have to do is ask;

And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, grace that only God can give to pardon us from our shortcomings, provided we are as charitable with those who hurt us, loving our neighbor as well as even our enemy;

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, God protects us from so much temptation that we could not handle. And when we need deliverance, he’s right there to save us;

For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory, all goodness and great things belong to God. They are only possible with his grace and power;

Forever and ever, from the beginning of time to the end end of time, god with his grace, power and love exist and are provided to those who ask.

Amen, all this is true.

A Prayer for the World

I closed my eyes to the world,

For I could not bear another

Moment of its peril,

Persecution and sword.

All the fighting was too much

To take in each day,

The cruelty and carnage,

The swearing and insulting,

Turning heads to wrongs abounding.

So, my hope was hanging

In a precious balance.

Whether I could go on,

Was in doubt, for sure.

I decided to appeal

To my higher power,

The merciful God of Spirit,

Who had rescued my life from ruin.

Somehow, there must be possibility

For my present earth to reconcile

All this shambles of civilization,

A carcass of the creation

That existed so many years ago.

I prayed a solemn petition,

Asking Jesus for His grace,

A gentle dose of mercy

For this time and place.

And so I placed my trust

In the heaven above,

Shedding no more tears for the future.

I know it is in God’s hands,

And I believe that is enough.

Communion

Sacrifice justice mercy love tribal watch out for

Those who are like you but even more for those

Who are different pluralism diversity freedom

Encouragement communion fellowship blood

And body bread and wine do this as you will

Starting Over

Leave your heart

At the door,

Slammed shut,

With a thud.

Cover your eyes.

I don’t want you to see

How thin I’ve become,

Wasting away,

In loneliness.

And how I’ve hurt

On this special day.

How I wanted to say

Something cute,

Something caring,

Something happy;

But all that came out was,

“That’s nice.”

All I cared about

Was hiding my fear,

Not starting a fight again,

Over something stupid.

I want to start over.

I want to be closer.

I want to embrace your

Wilting body.

Let’s go down

To the river,

To drown our sin,

And come up again,

And bask in the sun.

Let’s hold each other again,

Like we once did,

When God smiled on us,

And we had not

A care in the world!

Power

Wrong meets right.

The fight is strong.

Laugh, they will.

Cry out, they must.

Shout, at the top of their lungs—

Justice must prevail.

So many innocent lives

Have been crushed by the fist

Of the oppressor!

So many suffer

Because of the greed

And the arrogance

Of the powerful.

The powerful?

Who is powerful?

What is power?

Don’t you know that

The wind has changed course

On this hot, dry day.

The wind! The water!

The earth! The animals!

The birds! The insects!

The trees! Yes, even the trees!

Look at an old oak tree,

And tell me about power!

Look at a rushing stream,

And tell me about power!

Watch a lion kill its prey,

And tell me about power!

Is a gun, power?

In the hands of a six year old, a gun is just as powerful as in the hands of a grown man!

A gun is just a tool.

It’s what you do with a tool

That makes it useful.

It’s what you do with a tool

That makes it powerful.

And when a thousand voices scream,

That’s power!

When the people speak as one,

That’s power!

Don’t be afraid.

Be excited!

Be joyful!

Be glad!

For power has come to the people,

And they will not be denied this moment.

They have prayed,

And they have worked,

And they have suffered

For this moment.

Listen to the wind blow

Through the trees!

Justice has come like a mighty rush of wind,

And anything that’s old, anything that’s weak,

Anything that’s not tied down tight,

Is gonna blow away!

Those old tricks, old ways,

Cowardly words, weak attitudes,

Straw men beware!

The wind of justice has come to blow you…

Away!