In the maze of my mind,
There is this dark thing
That follows me around.
It changes hats, periodically.
Sometimes it’s anxiety,
Sometimes it’s depression,
Sometimes it’s hypomania.
All of the time it feels like
A heavy weight pushing me down.
It cringes at new experiences,
Full of worry.
It wonders if I will make it
Through today.
It hurts and it cries,
And it whines and complains.
Oh, how lovely
To have a mental illness!
Knowledge sex intertwine exchange
Merely showing off catch cling walk
Togetherness ideas dreams whisper
Calling grown up respect beliefs wait
Yelling expression argument curse
Rasping, coughing,
Breathing deep.
Crushing, drowning,
How I weep.
Lift my spirit
With your Spirit,
Living God of the ages.
I will trust your gentle hand.
I will hope for the promised land.
You will save me,
Hold me, keep me.
You are always faithful.
Do you wonder how I feel?
I want to curl up in a ball.
Go to sleep and never wake up,
Except I don’t live in a vacuum.
There are family and friends,
My wife, of course,
At the top of the list.
If I left the state of things
Would be grim, full of sin,
And everything.
You look so thin!
You look so nothing,
So drab, so flat.
You look like you’re losing
All your fat!
You are mine and I am yours.
Made for each other
In heaven, by George.
We’ll go out together
Or maybe you first.
That’s the way you want it,
On earth.
I don’t know what I’d do
With myself.
Wrestle dust balls from the shelf.
There’s much to look forward to
In this life.
But I can’t remember
Any but strife.
There’s much to hope for,
Much to dream,
But all I want to do
Is scream.
We’ll make it.
Don’t you worry.
There’ll be lots of fun and flurry.
We will gather all around.
We won’t stop for any sound.
Come with me to the holy gate.
Promise I won’t be irate.
We’ll enjoy your company.
We’ll be sure to bend our knees,
Jumping off the side of the boat,
In the castle’s shallow moat.
Miles of smiles cramp my style.
I sing because I’m drunk, I say.
Nothing to worry about.
The same old message, coming clean.
The same old, same old everything.
Can you tell I’d rather be there?
Can you see the when and the where?
I care about her much,
All her loved ones and such.
I am just not in synch.
I’m trailing badly. That’s what I think.
If you’ve got a bit of luck,
You can help me get unstuck.
If you think that there is hope
I’ll be gliding down a slope.
I will trust the good God’s keeping.
You won’t catch me if I’m weeping.
I’ll make sure there is a gift.
It’s such a thrill. My face will lift.
We’ll provide a settlement.
Would you like a candy spearmint?
Crawling under, torn asunder.
Beloved stolen, booming thunder.
Please excuse the mighty cry.
Nothing proven, when you died.
Angels gliding through the air.
I won’t suffer. I don’t care.
Vivid memories closing in.
Wasting away, growing thin.
What’s the difference if I go?
What’s the point of to and fro?
I just want a soothing moment.
I just want a second chance.
Only we can see the answer.
Only you can keep the balance.
Sometimes I feel
Like I’m going to burst.
I think of the outcome
That is the worst.
I cry inside
Because it’s not safe
In my mind’s
Emotional landscape.
Tears well up
Upon my lids.
They overflow,
The reality is.
Sometimes I break down,
To nothing special.
A mood, a thought,
I always mess up.
In the end,
I know that I
Am not alone,
So, I just sigh.
Sharing smothered thoughts,
Restricted feelings abound.
Hesitation rules the imagination,
Hiding from the truth,
Although it tortures me.
Yearning for stability,
Some kind of consistency.
If only I could have it both ways!
Breaking the ice
Is a tricky thing.
I ask you,
How are you?
I introduce myself.
I ask you
What you do and
Where you’re from.
But do I wonder
How you’ve been hurt,
Or what your dreams are?
Do I ask
What is most
Important to you?
Do I wonder
Who and what you love?
I do wonder these things,
But do I say so?
Not usually.
We tend to stick
To the superficial,
Not daring to ask
What really matters.
We play the game.
But I want to know
Who you really are.
I don’t care
What you do
For a living.
Not much, anyway,
Unless it is
Your dream job.
So let’s start over.
Reveal to me
Your heart.
Tell me your secrets.
Thunder crashes,
Lightning flashes,
Mother Nature
Says hello.
In my quiet home,
I sit absolutely still,
And watch
And listen to the rain.
Funny how,
Sometimes,
Life can be so peaceful,
And yet, so full of tension.
We fight against
The coming tide
Of life as usual, that is,
Pain and struggle
To overcome
The challenges
That come before us
On a daily basis,
All the time
We seek to draw
Strength
From deep inside,
From an endless
Flowing river
Of peace
And tranquility.
And yet,
Sometimes,
That river of power
Becomes blocked
By worries,
By doubts,
By discouragement.
It is in those times
Of difficulty,
If we are wise,
We stop and watch,
And listen
To the thunder
Of holiness,
The lightning
Of sacrifice,
And the merciful
Raindrops
Of ever flowing,
Beautiful Grace.
When we do this,
Our hearts,
Our minds,
And our bodies
Become renewed
With a wonderful
Power of light
And blessing.
We can look
Our pain and struggle
In the face again,
And smile.
Stumbling along the sidewalk 