Scurrying about,
In the midnight hours,
Like a little mouse,
Searching for a piece of cheese;
But you are up to much more,
As those wild emotions
Race through your mind,
And those dips of depression,
Fuel the fire of sadness and anger,
You break out the vacuum cleaner,
And do a few loads of laundry.
Good channeling for my sake,
Better than the belt,
Or a wicked rage,
Accompanied by fists
And insults galore,
Not constructive criticism,
But damning put-downs
Reserved for closed doors.
Naked
Exposed
Unwanted touching
Lost
Confused
Violated
Neglected
Overwhelmed
Abandoned
Why?
Our Father, the best father imaginable, and if not imaginable, the best Mother, or Brother, or Sister, or Friend;
Who art in Heaven, that place that isn’t a place, the perfect state of being, of existing, of living; that paradise of another dimension;
Hallowed be thy name, holy, righteous, special, divine, separate, perfect, lovely, beautiful, worthy of worship by all, Daddy, Momma, Grandpa, Grandma, Uncle, Aunt, Friend, Confidante;
Thy Kingdom come, a world where God’s love and holiness is the guiding principle for all, an experience of grace that exists right now, anytime, is accessible to all, no matter where they live or what state their life is in;
Thy Will be done, a state of purpose that comes only from God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit; A goal that has already been achieved on the Cross, by paying the sacrificial debt for the sins of the world, from the beginning to the end of time; The perfect obedience and righteous existence that comes from God’s gift to humanity;
On earth, as it is in heaven, can you imagine everyone on the earth following God’s will? Can you imagine anyone obeying 100% of the time? Well, it happens sometimes, which is a miracle in itself;
Give us this day our daily bread, give us physical, emotional and spiritual sustenance , whatever is necessary to do God’s will, God provides it, and all we have to do is ask;
And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, grace that only God can give to pardon us from our shortcomings, provided we are as charitable with those who hurt us, loving our neighbor as well as even our enemy;
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, God protects us from so much temptation that we could not handle. And when we need deliverance, he’s right there to save us;
For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory, all goodness and great things belong to God. They are only possible with his grace and power;
Forever and ever, from the beginning of time to the end end of time, god with his grace, power and love exist and are provided to those who ask.
Amen, all this is true.
Alone, but not alone.
God waits behind the curtain–
Or is it I that wait on God?
We wait on each other, then,
In a sort of waltz together,
Taking one step forward,
And one step back,
Rotating in circles,
Never completely meeting.
Oh, how my heart yearns
To connect to the holy one!
Like a child yearns
To be held by its mother,
So I crave the loving arms
Of my Creator.
My prayers of desperation
Fall down into the abyss.
My prostrate body
Aches with loneliness and pain
Of rejection and betrayal.
I must continue
To remain faithful,
But my soul is so weary.
How my enemies mock me,
Lord of All, please,
Be merciful.
www.saintpaulsumc.org/sermon/new-places-for-new-people-courageous-relationships/
Click on the above link to view a sermon by Rev. Dr. Kandace Brooks in which she challenges her congregation to step out of their comfort zones and reach out to others, to ask for help or to be of help, specifically to the mentally ill, suicidal, etc.
Did you, too?
Have you been there?
Do you, really?
Thank you.
I’m glad you’re here.
I’m glad I’M here.
This is work.
I want to get better.
I wish I could sleep.
I sleep too much.
I’m ready to commit to that.
I’m ready to quit.
I trust you.
Thank you for being there for me.
A light twinkles
In the distance;
It is my hope,
Fragile, yet strong.
Will a big gust of wind
Blow out my candle?
I am protected
By many walls:
Meds, doctors,
Counselors, family,
Friends and helpers.
That gust of wind
Can blow if it must,
But my light will not
Be extinguished.
I will use
The tools I’ve been given.
I will continue the struggle,
And I will win.
Experience.
A light bulb turns on.
Words flow like breathing.
Comfortable.
Fellow warriors
Keeping each other company.
Along for the ride,
Together.
Be there for you,
Whenever you need someone.
Any time, any place.
Trust me.
I’ll hold out a light
So you can see your way.
Brothers and sisters
Of mental illness.
Strong.
Filled
To the rim
With anxiety,
Like a rising tide,
My feet don’t reach
The bottom.
I cannot get a sense
Of where I am.
Everything around me
Seems to happen
In slow motion,
While my emotions reel
Like tossing waves.
My mind tries to balance,
But is tossed about
Like a little boat.
Gravity plays with me
Like a child
With his toys,
Crashing them together,
And zooming them around.
I am natures plaything,
In the storm,
I am the storm,
I am a bystander,
I am a weather man,
Like an idiot,
Standing outside
In the wind and rain,
Talking to the camera
Until I can barely stand up.
Time to take my meds.
A “normal” day
Is an unusual occurrence
For those of us
With bipolar.
But if our meds
Are doing what they’re supposed to,
And drama is kept to a minimum,
Occasionally,
We might find ourselves
Having a normal day.
I had a normal day today,
And it felt good.
Not so stressful
As a typical day,
I wasn’t anxious
Like I usually am.
I was just me,
Living life,
Almost like a normal person.
Stumbling along the sidewalk 