Moving towards you, in a roundabout
Sort of way. I feel the weight of my fear.
No, Mom and Dad didn’t tell me how to
Speak confidently, converse about things
Like interests and hobbies, to discuss the
Issues of the day. So, what is important
To you? I want to know, so true.
When I turn my eyes in your general
Direction, and rest my gaze on your face
Or body, just for a moment; and in that
Moment, you catch my eye with yours,
Do you wonder what’s going through my
Head, what I’m feeling, why I’m looking?
I wish I knew. But it just happens. Ouch.
Some people are pretty positive.
They look on the bright side.
It doesn’t matter how bad,
They will find something good.
This is, I think, a great way to be.
It is a straight way to happiness.
The only problem with it is
They are not prepared.
Sometimes life does not treat you well.
Sometimes things happen that are unexpected.
And sometimes life changes you.
Life can change you from a positive person
To someone who looks down every alley,
Wondering at every shadow.
And if you come to this crossroads,
Beware thoughts that come in the night.
If darkness finds you, it will hold on tight.
It will not be easy to shake it off.
For you have been through something
That has changed you forever.
You will doubt, and you will fear.
You will become something
That you may have run from
All of your life.
(Carry on Tuesday #108)
Deep down, I dig to the bottom.
What lies in this hidden depth?
Fear, grief, rage, confusion…
It rocks my reason, clouds my vision.
But what is the answer?
Where is the road out of this darkened wood?
Is it faith? Trust? Logic? Courage? Peace?
Is Love the answer? Where will it take me?
Right now everything is scary.
I feel caught in a cage,
In chains, buried deep underneath
Miles of ground, isolated by time,
Place, and no relationships that bring
Relief, connection, revelation, peace.
Anxiety rules the roost, it conquers all.
Fear is my father, abandonment is my mother.
Rage is my brother, grief is my sister.
This is my family. My friends are shadows,
Ghosts in a mist that only evaporate in my
Hands when I reach out to hold their hands.
I am lost in my mirrors, erroring in my program,
Nothing makes sense, nothing works.
What is the truth? Who is my savior?
From where does my salvation come?
Stumbling along the sidewalk 