Mercy

Deep, down below,
I lie alone,
Writhing in pain
Until I go insane.
Is this a sentence
For my past sins?
Is this what happens
When I lose,
And God wins?
What is here for me?
So many blessings,
But I can’t grasp them.
I can’t enjoy them.
I can’t feel them.
So many people
Trying to help me,
Yet it is pointless,
As I continue suffering.
No one can make it
Go away.
No one can heal me.
I must endure
Whatever wretched path
That I am given.
Oh, to escape!
To go to heaven!
Anything to stop
The torture,
The pain,
The anxiety.
Please, God,
Have mercy on me.