Confusion

Darkness. A fuzzy, twisted, cloudy vision

Of today, yesterday and tomorrow.

What has happened, really?

Was it painful? Was I trapped, abused,

Tortured? Was it someone

That I deeply trusted? Do I still trust?

Where, when, how do I move on?

Life is hard, sometimes.

Summoning up the courage

Just to get out of bed,

Take my meds, face the world

One more time.

It’s a daily struggle.

Telling the truth,

No matter how difficult.

Facing the stigmas,

Pushing through all the social challenges,

Twists and turns of conversation,

Unrealistic expectations, doubts,

Skepticism, discrimination,

Hatred, condescending comments.

“Oh, but you just need to pray about it.”

“You just need to talk to a counselor,”

“Go to church,” “Get in God’s Word,”

“Repent from all your sin.”

Dementia, delusion, paranoia,

Nightmares, fear, discouragement.

It comes from all sides.

It closes me in. Can I make it through?

The lies bombard me

From every direction.

So hard to see the truth.

Damn, it is a hard road to tread.

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Author: Gordon S. Bowman III

Writer, Visual Artist, Blogger, Advocate

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