Month: November 2018

Pull a Load Down a Road

Hanging from a cliff,

I look down and ponder the drop.

Looking up, I wonder if I could jump.

I check my arm, and I feel a lump.

Go team! Run down the road.

Get ready to pull a load.

Do you know the secret

Of the Winnie the Pooh?

Do you feel the heart

Of the country in your blood?

Do you see the end

Of the second chance mold?

Wednesday

I’m laying here, feeling warm,

Wondering what my family and friends

Are up to. What do you want for

Christmas this year? It’s cold in the

House, but Ronnie just turned on the

Heat and I’m under a blanket. Tandy

Was laying on my stomach for a few

Minutes, but then she ran off. Now she’s

Sniffing around for anything she can

Scavenge off the floor. Stella is barking

And whining to come in. She acts like

Someone’s torturing her. Jackie just let

Her in.

A Second Guess

How do you know

What to do

When you don’t feel quite right,

And you’re not getting through

Life unscathed,

And you can’t really sue?

I wonder

If I should have

Gone to get help

When my empty head

Was playing tricks on me.

I wonder if I should have stayed,

When I had a choice to make.

But was I free to choose?

Family and friends

Supported me.

The doctors were helpful,

So also the nurses,

Some of them, anyway.

I think it was good

That I stuck around,

But the journey was full

Of grief and regret.

Hindsight’s 20/20,

As they say.

Sharing Your Struggles

Silence

Is golden, but costly.

Holding it all in

Can be quite a sin.

Sometimes,

We need to share

Our doubts and fears,

Our dreams and nightmares.

And we need to listen,

To give support,

To extend a hand

In goodwill.

You are important to me,

And I know

I’m important to you.

So I’d like to soothe

Your anxiety.

Let’s be a team

To overcome life’s struggles.

Transitions

It’s been almost three years since I was hospitalized for a major med change. Everything went really well while I was in the hospital, although I got into a friendship with another patient that wasn’t good for me. I would end up taking medical leave for an extended amount of time and then attempt to return to work. That didn’t work out, though. I ended up back in the hospital, and, when I got out I decided to leave my job on long term disability. I hired a lawyer to help me get approved for SSDI, and after a couple denials it went to hearing and I won my case. Since then I started taking classes at Lively Technical Center. I finished the program for legal administrative specialist but decided by the last class that I wasn’t completely sure that was what I wanted to do. So, this Fall I reenrolled at Lively in hopes of getting certified in Microsoft Office. I eventually realized I was only going to be able to get certified in Microsoft Word, as Excel was too difficult and I was feeling ready to finish with school and move on to a part time job. I plan to finish the administrative office specialist program in the Spring, and start looking for a job.