A force within, pulled down and up,
Racked my brain, and wreaked havoc
With my heart. My life a shambles,
Holding onto the end of the shipwreck.
Created to be—something—unique.
Sometimes it seems as though I am
A monster, sometimes a master,
Most of the time something in between.
At the mercy of my emotions,
A manic-depressive collage,
Created and creating,
Something from it all.
And somewhere in there,
A mind struggles to make sense
Of the ups and downs,
Finding redemptive meaning in it.
Sometimes I wonder,
Is it possible?
Drum, goes the beat, on my heart.
It echoes through my body,
And my soul cries out its anthem,
“To bed! To bed! One more time,”
It says. To freedom from toil,
To leisure, to escape from suffering.
And my head chimes in,
“Bills, bills, bills, remember them.”
Oh, how they haunt me,
Follow me everywhere.
I slave at my workplace
To pay my bills,
I panic at the grocery,
Hoping for a miracle
When I get to the register
To pay for this cart of wants
And needs, piled high in
Revery, oh to have, to get,
To be, to escape, to luxury,
Oh, to be there, just once!