He, he, high dee ho!
Come with me
Don’t drop the soap.
In the cave of evil things,
There’s a list of what to make
For Christmas dinner.
So go to the store,
And buy the trimmings,
And we’ll meet here
In the end.
And we’ll sing loo, loo, loo,
Loo, loo, loo, loo, loo!
Away in a pancake,
A serpent smelled.
What’s it to you, buddy?
I’m drunk. I don’t care.
What’s it to you?
I’m married. I don’t have
An opinion on the matter.
Back to the barn!
He screamed, so loudly.
What, were you raised in a barn?
Barn animals don’t close doors.
Barnyards have doors left open.
Barn clothes are dirty.
On second thought,
Are you a cow?
Or a pig?
Or a chicken?
I’m the barnyard type,
Oh, yes, indeedee!
Saintly garb is too legit.
Black carpet
Round the pit.
Comfortably numb,
That’s what I hit.
Come forth, Lazarus!
Hurry, come quick!
See the angels
In the sky.
See the banner
In my Budweiser eye.
Come oh come,
Ye saintly types.
Come home, come home.
Now, let’s not fight.
Looking up and down
I see what you’re trying to do to me,
This fine winter day,
This day of all days.
This day to give gifts
Is a special day.
This day to eat cookies
And pray, Hey, hey!
Christ comes
On a rocking horse,
Every December
Twenty-fifth!
Don’t ya know?
Fa, la, la, la, la!
Sing a Christmas tune.
Come all ye prayerful,
Come to me ye joyful.
It was a silent night,
Away in a manger.
I cried in my heart,
For just as I am,
Without one plea,
He died for me, a sinner,
He said Come to me.
Writing a poem is as easy
As saying please for help
When you’re broken down
With a flat tire
Or your radiator has overheated.
Boy, I could sure use some help right now.
Well, friend, what do you need?
A bottle of water would be just fine, Jim.
Okay, brother, don’t mind if I do.
Let’s work on this together.
To my wife, I say, I love you.
So what’s the trick, Bill?
Just say what you mean,
Or if you’re more daring,
Say what you don’t mean.
Easy as pie!
The messenger got tangled
Within the message.
The toddler got lost
When he took his first steps.
The game was over
Before it started.
Can you catch
The turkey drippings?
Can you see
The license on the car?
Do you care to dance
This number?
Is my suit slick
Enough for this hip joint?
Swing this state ah, c’mon trump, what more,
Can you mess up, mess with, and mess on?
The end of things is getting near, I think;
The end of time is closing in. What else
Can go wrong, folks? Ah, but right is around
The corner, so, don’t give up hope, not quite
Yet, my dear. Lift your head, and give thanks!
Come and hear about a boy soon to be
A man of power and grace who bounces
Demons onto their face who stops storms
In midway, who raises the dead when
The living are afraid to let them go, oh come!
Walk a nip to tide a sip no whine no lip
Calm the rip don’t say a bit don’t close your
Eyes don’t run a shop don’t soak your socks
I’m biting the bar I’ll saw the sire cook tie so
Mere the psych is here so call the nap and fair
Stumbling along the sidewalk 