The Real Me

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Can I tell you how I feel?
Perhaps not.
Perhaps, you don’t want to know.
Perhaps, you don’t believe
In being honest with your feelings.
You think that some thoughts
Should not be shared.
But how can you know me, then?
How can you ever get close?
Don’t you want to know
The real me, as opposed
To the me who I am on the outside?
You can’t know what I’m really like,
Unless I tell you.
You cannot see the beauty in my soul
Unless I uncover myself,
Peel away the social mask,
The pretend me.
I don’t want to be a fantasy.
I want to be real.
I want to be me.

Seriously

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Why do my own words
Sometimes disgust me?
Gentle babes in my arms,
Now they turn their backs

And laugh at me.
They curse my name,
Reminding me
That I am only a man.

They tell me
That I have nothing to say
Worth saying.
What is the truth?

Are these words
Worth saving?
Is my mind
Just a wasteland

Of scattered thoughts,
Insecure feelings,
And random tangents
Of distraction?

Where is the meaning
In these silly phrases?
What is the redemption
For which I seek

In stuttering sentences
And asphyxiated hints
Of passing insights
That now escape me?

Perhaps,
It is all just a silly game,
And the joke is on me.
Seriously.

True for You

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Little trigger happy elf,
Sauntering down the road,
Can you tell me
What life is all about?

Pretty dream girl,
Can you tell me of
Sad stories, but true,
Scars to sympathize with you?

Happy baby,
Bouncing on
Your Daddy’s knee,
Can you tell me

What you will see
In this great big world,
Eventually?
I wonder.

We all have stories
That we can tell.
We all know mysteries
That we can share.

We know things,
From insight
And experience,
And, perhaps,

From God.
What is true for you,
May be true for me, too.
But, then again,

Maybe not.
But, perhaps,
That is another truth
In itself.

Fear

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What am I afraid of?
This sickness in my stomach,
That won’t go away.

Anxiety ripples
Through my body.
Is it God,

Or is it man?
Perhaps both.
But I know

Who I am
And whose I am.
And I know

Who holds the future.
If God knows
Even when the

Little sparrow falls,
I know he watches me.
I must sing

Because I’m happy,
And I must sing,
Because I’m free.

God will take care of me,
And my little worries.
He will be there,

Every step of the way.
He will carry
All my burdens.

No matter what,
I am his child.
With his help,

I can do this!

Loop

Varooom zoom con coupon
Lounge tackle tip strip
Leaf lack smack whack
Angel interloper round
Realm rouge reconnoiter
Table swing mouth tick
Temple teepee tinge
Order if rickety route
Make miffed lift lacking
Lean entropy slick mitt
Mood tube tease ticker
Teal seal sink sick psyche
Switch lick lout lever
Lewd limber lumber
Tent toward end loop

Breaking Free

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Breaking free
From what’s been done before,
Is no easy task.

To say something new,
Or to say it in a new way,
Takes courage.

To risk the scorn
Of naysayers galore,
Coming from every direction.

The worries can overwhelm,
If you let them.
But in order to break free,

One must be strong
In mind, spirit and body.
The toll it takes is significant.

To be sensitive is a gift,
But also a curse.
To be gentle, a risk.

For the world is not compassionate
To that lone voice,
Crying in the wilderness.

People can be cruel,
And they won’t think twice
Before mocking and insulting.

To be truthful
Is an aspiration that comes
With a cost.

Is it worth it?

Another Day

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Running as hard as I can,
To stand still.
Fighting the impulse
To seek a thrill.

Rhythm, routine and rest:
That is what is best.
Got to get this off my chest.
Got to remember how I’m blessed!

Focus, focus.
No hocus pocus.
Keep steady.
Look ahead. Stay ready.

Do what’s right,
Even if it hurts.
Keep the press on,
Do what works.

Trusting no one–
Perhaps a few.
Who to trust, though?
Wish I knew.

Thinking of those I love.
Fit together like a glove.
Got to go, just one more day.
Find the answer. Find a way.

Freedom

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Sometimes,
When something is not talked about,
We get the wrong idea,
That that something is very bad.

I’m realizing, now,
That there are things in my life,
Things about me,
That I have felt very ashamed of,

Because those things were not discussed,
Or, if they were,
That I was given the wrong message.

Now, I am coming to see
That some of my ways of thinking
And feeling are perfectly normal,
Even healthy,

When all these years
I’ve been afraid of them,
Feeling very guilty,
And thinking that there must be

Something very wrong with me
For me to have
These thoughts and feelings.
It’s really weird to realize one day,

That everything you thought
Was the truth,
Is a lie,
And that what you thought

Was bad, is really good.
So, where does one go from here?
I guess, like anything else,
I just have to take

One day at a time,
Slowly relearning
What is okay to think and feel.
It feels good to be set free.

There Is Love

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Heaven seems so far away,
Sometimes.
Is it real?
I wonder.

Emptiness
Fills my soul.
But there is something
Out there.

So much
In this world
Cannot be explained.
So many miracles,

Every day.
There must be a God,
After all.
Only with God

Can love exist.
This world can be
So dark,
Sometimes,

But, still,
There is love.
Doubt and fear
Closes in,

But, still,
There is love.
Hate and greed
Sours our lives,

But, still,
There is love.
Still,
There is love.