Scuzz Ball

Cleaving to your skinny feet,
I dig my nails into your ankles.
Dragging me down the sidewalk
Should be considered an Olympic sport.

“I just want to be with you!” I cry.
But your ears are closed to my
Desperate pleadings. You don’t care
To waste your time with a scuzz ball
Like me.

I’d like to be your friend, or maybe
An associate, but my efforts are
In vain, I fear. Nobody loves a loser.
Maybe later, I say to myself.

Perhaps when he is in a better mood.
Perhaps when he loses everything,
One day, he will come looking for me,
And when he finds me, he’ll thank The Lord that he has me.

Maybe.

Advertisements

Checkmate Elegy

Cremate your lactate so we can elevate
Your fruitcake for checkmate.
Leave somber selves upon crowded Shelves, including my bells.

So, what is true for you, so candidly?
Where do you come from so quickly?
Do you have what it takes to make a cake? Do you dream of better days?

How does the angel fall from such lofty
Heights? What the hell?
Sneakier sounds were never recorded.
Come to me and see me freely.

Sweeter tastes come through insane.
Jungle gym teaser pleases me instantly.
Happy-go-lucky friend rescues the repeat. Do you see the meager gently?

Follow sinking semblance of swordplay.
Fell today on top of elegies.
Do you desire a brighter day?
Come quickly, on your knees.

Endings

Candles burning through the night,
Bathing my face with their warm light.
Teeth clenched under trembling lips,
Tossing stomach doing flips.

Anxious brow, concentrates.
Future only seals my fate.
Serendipity,
Speechless leaves me.

Quivering from head to toe,
Running round, to and fro.
Guessing games puzzle me,
Scathing answers set me free.

Endings come so quickly now,
Testing thoughts and senses follow.
Catching me unaware,
Staggering, I stand and stare.

Take me there against my will,
So that I may drink my fill.
Climbing truth’s window sill,
I catch my breath, standing still.

For a Season

Closing doors to open others,
Climbing mounts to descend again.
What’s in store for my future?
What will change, what stay the same?

One thing for sure,
That’s nothing’s for sure.
Things are bound to change,
Eventually.

Suffering will last for a season,
Meaning wanes in hard times.
Tediousness is predictable
To outlast interests.

Thrills are few and far between
For creatures of habit, like me.
Stability and comfort dominate
As discipline works its magic.

Repetition smooths out the wrinkles
In the rhythm of my soul.
Aches and pains raise their ugly heads
Occasionally,

But nothing lasts.

Jumping Up

Jumping up to touch the sky,
I feel the wind blow in my eyes.
Bending low to stir the soil,
Keeping close, crouched in a coil.

Walking ’round this hallowed place,
I feel a spirit touch my face.
Is it God or just another
Of those demons that always hover

Near my body when it’s tense?
I could use a holy fence
To protect me from these ghouls.
Would be nice to bend the rules.

Sometimes I can see quite clear,
What it is that brought me here.
Sometimes I don’t have a clue
Why it’s me that’s close to you.

Do you think God has a plan?
Do you know the Son of Man?
I’m not sure, occasionally,
What is true for you and me.

Where will you go when it’s time?
Will you pay for all your crimes?
I hope not, for your sake.
We won’t last, with all our hate.

Hovering Now

Happy leaps cover frolicking weeps,
Colors turn this way and that.
Do you have the keys to reaping
Silent mutters in the dark?

Which one tells you what it’s worth?
Why are elbows sort of worse
In a salad seeping turf,
Leaving me to mine the earth?

How’s the weather where you are?
Asks the sleeping breeze to the gun.
When did clocks turn back the stars?
Why did where turn into when?

Will you come this way to sing
Lullabies to all my friends?
Shrug and give a hoot for me.
Angels wear your fine jewelry.

Real talks placed around the cape,
Mere wrongs close the gap to here.
Several words fall from the sky,
But only one when its time to die.

Encounters

Trampling down a rambling way,

I stumbled into what I’d say

Is nothing short of night and day

To one like me who’s in the fray.

 

One might say I was not gay,

But would be wrong about me.

I like to play most every day

With whomever I come to see.

 

Would you like to follow me

About this dingy city?

There’s not much to catch one’s eye.

There is nothing pretty.

 

Almost every person here

Remains alone sometimes I fear.

Always needing someone near

To speak so softly in their ear.

 

Would you like to talk to them,

Be their audience or their friend?

Would you care to spend a while,

Hearing of their times of trial?

 

I can say right here and now,

It is not fun out in the sun,

One feels one is about to drown

In nothingness, it weighs a ton.

 

Pushing one down below the waves,

One claws and kicks to try to save

Oneself from all the bitter things

This life sometimes to us brings.

 

Is there hope, you chance to ask?

Maybe so for some.

But I’m not counting chickens unhatched.

I’m one prone to run.

 

Out of here I bolt with speed,

Leaving things behind I need.

Never caring what comes to play

With my mangled spirit today.

 

I will find something new.

I will discover a kind of clue.

Will there be a happy end

To my strife, you might portend?

 

I don’t know what will come,

But I’ll continue fighting on.

There is no point for blaming some.

It is I that must get things done.

 

2013

A Figment

One day I had to work late into the night.  I was very tired, and I was not looking forward to the walk home, which was several miles.  It was almost midnight when I left the office, and luckily I kept a flashlight in my desk for emergencies.  I wouldn’t need the flashlight until I passed through the town proper, though, so I put it in my coat pocket.

As I got to the edge of downtown, I came up to the town cemetery.  I heard a scream, which then was muffled into silence.  At first, I was inclined to believe it was only a figment of my imagination, but even so, I felt more vulnerable every second.  I thought about just ignoring it, but my conscience got the better of me, so I decided to go check it out.

As I passed through the gate, I heard another scream.  My heart was captured by it, and I was drawn to it.  I searched amid the tombstones for a while, thinking some unfortunate victim was trapped somewhere or in the clutches of some monster.  Just when I had made up my mind to retrace my steps, two glowing eyes rose up to meet me.  They were not fearsome, but coaxing.  I hesitated, but then a large hand reached forward and grabbed me by the neck with a grip that was superhuman.

It dragged me back into the cemetery, where the streetlights were blocked by trees.  I started to shake with fear at the thought of what this ghoul might do with me.  I thought about the scream I had heard before, and if that was any example, I was in for it.  He took me back to a big oak tree, where I saw something hideous.  Dangling from the limbs of the tree were many thick ropes, and at the end of the ropes were men, women and children, all with grim faces.  Their emaciated bodies were covered with cuts and bruises.  Their feet were covered with blood, dripping as if freshly drawn.

As I feared, my fate was soon to be the same unless I could somehow escape.  I tried swinging my body behind, kicking my feet and pounding on the ghoul’s hands with all my might, but to no avail.  I was trapped, just like these other poor creatures, and soon I would be joining them as another decoration on this ghoul’s tree.

That’s when I remembered that I had a flashlight in my pocket.  I decided anything was worth a try, so I reached down and grabbed it like a weapon.  I shined it straight into the ghoul’s eyes, and he dropped me.  I ran back to the gate as fast as I could.  I don’t know if the ghoul followed me or not, because I never looked back.  When I got to the gate, I ran through and kept running for a while, just to be on the safe side.  Finally I looked back, and did not see anyone or anything behind me.
Thinking back now, I realize how stupid I was to enter that darkened cemetery.  I should have run away as soon as I saw those glowing eyes, but oh, how they pierced my soul.  I went straight to bed when I got home, and when I woke up, I thought back to what happened the night before, and I thought to myself, “Did I dream it, or was it true?”  It was so unbelievable that I never told anyone until now as I write this entry in my journal.  I know I won’t be walking into any cemeteries at night again, that’s for sure.