Today I contemplated suicide for a little while. I thought how easy it would be to overdose on all the pills I have. Knowing me, I’d probably just get really sick. But it seems so easy and overdosing seems on first impression like a pretty painless way to go. It’s funny because I like my life right now, for the most part. Sure, I still get uncomfortable sometimes, but overall I think I’m in a pretty good place. I guess it’s because I watched a movie this weekend that showed it very subtly and made it almost matter of fact. Nothing gruesome, no blood, just a quick ending. And it almost seemed romantic, like Romeo and Juliet. But then I snapped back to reality. What would it do to those who love me? It would be very painful to a lot of people, especially my wife and my parents. No, it would be wrong. And I am gradually putting my life back together after leaving my job and going on disability. I have a bright future ahead. I have to keep reminding myself where I was a couple years ago. In bed, in tears, in agony, not accomplishing anything. I’ve come a long way. Actually looking forward to tomorrow.
4 thoughts on “Thinking Twice about Suicide”
You have come a long way, feel good about yourself 🙂👍
Thank you, I do. Sometimes the mind plays tricks on us, I guess.
I am very glad to know you are safe. Keep writing, you are a great writer and that has always helped me overcome hard times. My heart goes out to you, Gordon.
Thank you, Rebecca. I appreciate your compassion and understanding.