In my head I paint a picture
Of some day walking free.
All my hang-ups and delusions
Laying in a pile behind me.
In my head I paint a picture
Of no more medication.
No more need to medicate
No more side-effects.
In my head I paint a picture
Of family bonds and closeness
No more driving forever to get there.
No more procrastinating that phone call.
In my head I paint a picture
Of what my family might have been
Had love and understanding been the rule
Instead of fear and loathing.
In my head I paint a picture
Of foolish decisions unmade.
Broken relationships mended.
Hurtful words unsaid.
In my head I paint a picture
Of all the things that I regret
Somehow never happening
And I can sleep better after that.
Carry on Tuesday #115
Stumbling along the sidewalk 
Oh wow. You just described my life and my family of origin. Well written!
Thanks for stopping by! I’m glad you liked and could relate to the poem. Amazing how people can be, live and experience the same things. Come back soon.
The picture is cool. I don’t think I’d have thought to include it with this poem, but it certainly goes well.
I love the last stanza. Regret keeps many people up at night.
Hello, Jess. Glad you liked the picture, and that you think it goes well with the poem. This was a difficult poem to choose a picture, too. Yes, there are many things that I regret. Sleep is good when I can get it. 🙂 Please stop by again sometime.
An enjoyable read……..
Thank you for reading. Come back soon!
This prompt was both easy and difficult for me…easy because I paint similar pictures in my head as you included here. Difficult because I couldn’t stop crying as I wrote the short poem that I did. And even now, I cry for the things I’ve painted in my head and have longed for, that will never come to pass.
I admire the open honesty in your writing, Gordon. You delve deeper and articulate more clearly than I. (That’s why I mentioned you recently in an interview…did you see my email?)
Thank you for continuing to write.
~Paula
I read your poem first. Perhaps that is what made mine so easy. We both come from different worlds and experiences, but we understand the same things. I’m sorry again to hear about your pain and struggle. I read your posts, but am at a lost as to what to say.
Thank you for your appreciation for my honesty. You are very talented yourself as well. You have learned poetry skills that I have not begun to attempt.
I did read your email and read the interview, and I appreciate the mention. I apologize for not thanking you.
Thank you for continuing to read, as well as write. Again, I am encouraged by your appreciation of my writing. I always look forward to your comments and encouragement.
Wishing you the best,
Gordon
Thank you, Gordon. There is little anyone can really say re: another’s pains and struggles. But to know there are others who care….that is what is pulling me through the days I’d rather just give up.
As for my poetry skills…thank you. I really wasn’t pointing you to my interview as a way to fish for a compliment. Quite the contrary, actually….I wanted to be sure you knew that I appreciate you and your writing….you inspire me to be as open and honest as I am. So–you’re welcome for the mention! 🙂
bless you,
Paula
I can relate to your piece … well written … I look forward to those paintings in my head that turn into reality without disappointment.
If we could take back words, undo actions, make different choices … what would we have?
And. what lessons would we have learned?
I think we learn the lessons anyway, perhaps because we can’t change things. We do make different choices sometimes in the future with maturity. But many of us never learn, and undoing actions and taking back words would just be an escape from responsibility.
creative, things are mixed, shake it off, stay upbeat.
lovely take.