Category: Poetry

Trust.

A mangled, twisted idea in my head.

Enveloped by madness,

Drowning in despair,

I don’t know it very well.

Cusp of confusion,

Trying to escape the illusions,

But fooled by so many delusions.

Angels in the side rooms,

But perhaps not.

Tying knots in my brain,

My spine cracked and broken.

Can I rise to the occasion?

Kicks in the backside

Make me want to cry out.

“Stop! Let me go, you ghosts!”

Heckling me from all directions,

Connecting me with witches and warlocks

Of the strained backwards messaging,

Hidden in all the lovely music

By which I am entertained.

I must find my way back

To the path of lonely existence,

The one full of resistance,

The journey that calls my soul,

Whether or not I feel

Like going up onto the the mountains,

Or descending to the valleys.

I am one who believes in a mission.

I am called to meet an expectation,

From those full of compassion.

I care about my calling,

Though sometimes I am unappreciated

Because it is not patterned

By the stuff that is established

By those who are recognized

As geniuses and experts

Of the kind that set the standards.

Can I make a mark of my own?

I can only believe in myself,

And the spirit that fills me,

Makes me full of satisfaction.

I can only know in my heart

I am on my own path,

The one I have created.

So I continue to whittle away

On this dirty limb of life.

Some day, some day.

Contortionist movement

Deep down in my soul

Rises to the surface

Like a scary troll.

Bias and predeliction

Hang in a balance.

Tipsy-turvey intentions

Keep my feelings askance.

Self-awareness is a necessity

In this messed up world.

So common for us to fool

Ourselves into a heady swirl.

Lackadaisical temptations

Come with the territory.

American pastimes

Of sitting idly by.

We must stir ourselves

Into movement for change.

Summoning up the courage

To light a flame.

Can we find our true path

Amidst the thorny brush

Of lies and deceit

Coming to us in a rush?

A decision must be made

To follow through.

A commitment to reach

As high as the moon.

Discouraged as we are

From where we stand,

We must summon the courage

To rise higher than

Those gone before us,

As strong as they stand.

And far as we see

To a promised land,

Never looking back

With second thoughts.

Never wondering

With shoulda’s and nots.

We have a calling

To change this world.

It is now we must act,

In this fertile soil,

Full of manure

From all the B-S.

We must turn the tide

And clean up the mess.

Follow your dream,

Ye bold apostles!

Make the world clean,

By flexing your muscles.

You have the passion.

You know the truth.

The only thing left

Is to start to move.

The road that is laid

Right before you,

Is surely full of danger,

But I implore you,

Don’t stop now,

While you are ahead!

Never surrender

To the doubts in your head.

Stick to the plan,

As long as it takes.

Your efforts make a difference

To the human race!

Darkness. A fuzzy, twisted, cloudy vision

Of today, yesterday and tomorrow.

What has happened, really?

Was it painful? Was I trapped, abused,

Tortured? Was it someone

That I deeply trusted? Do I still trust?

Where, when, how do I move on?

Life is hard, sometimes.

Summoning up the courage

Just to get out of bed,

Take my meds, face the world

One more time.

It’s a daily struggle.

Telling the truth,

No matter how difficult.

Facing the stigmas,

Pushing through all the social challenges,

Twists and turns of conversation,

Unrealistic expectations, doubts,

Skepticism, discrimination,

Hatred, condescending comments.

“Oh, but you just need to pray about it.”

“You just need to talk to a counselor,”

“Go to church,” “Get in God’s Word,”

“Repent from all your sin.”

Dementia, delusion, paranoia,

Nightmares, fear, discouragement.

It comes from all sides.

It closes me in. Can I make it through?

The lies bombard me

From every direction.

So hard to see the truth.

Damn, it is a hard road to tread.

I don’t see him.

But I can feel him.

I am aware

Of his existence.

I am changed by him.

When I interact with him,

I sense that it he real.

How can I be sure

That he is not

A delusion?

How can I be sure

That he is not a lie?

I must trust my own perceptions,

My own intuition,

My own reality.

After all,

When you reduce life

To what it’s all about,

Where we get its meaning,

That is really

All we have to rely on.

What is true for me

May not be true for you.

My reality

May not be your reality,

And that’s okay.

We just accept it,

And move on.

Why dwell on our doubts?

Why question

What, for us,

Seems so real,

Just because

It is not real

For someone else?

We don’t have to

Prove ourselves

To anyone.

We don’t have to

Compare ourselves

To each other at all.

We just need to

Love each other

For exactly who

We present ourselves to be.

I am who I say I am,

As far as you are concerned.

Let’s just move on.

Accelerating, slowing, stopping,

All in a matter of seconds.

Will the guy behind me stop?

We’re at a stop light,

So I start texting my wife back.

She wants to know

Where I am at all times,

And what I’m doing.

I forgot to text her

Before I left work early,

And I also need to tell her why.

I often look up to check the light,

Just in case the guy behind me

Sees it change before I do,

And gets impatient that I don’t take off

At light speed as soon as it changes.

Will he honk his horn,

Or, worse, will he step on the gas pedal

Before I do?

I don’t want to be the unwilling

Participant of road rage, right now.

I hurry up, all the while,

Filling up with anxiety

About what might happen.

This is a regular occurrence for me,

A risky one, I know,

Even if I only do it when (I hope)

The traffic is stopped.

Maybe I shouldn’t.

Then again, how risky is it

Not to return my wife’s texts

As soon as possible?

The quantum gravity

Of that mass is about

As heavy as it gets,

For this husband!

Meager messages belittle life,

Underestimate the power of truth,

Insult the potential of creativity.

Are we required to follow

The textual translations

Of the words we read in scripture,

In our creations of art?

Of course not.

We have the freedom

To express ourselves

In whatever ways

Our creativity leads us.

The truths we live by

Will influence everything we do,

And as artists,

This will include our works of art.

In addition,

Truth can be discovered

In a multitude of ways.

Scripture is just one

(To some) obvious way.

Nature, conversation,

And life experience are others.

We have to be open,

All the time,

To whatever way

Truth can be discovered.

And we also have to be open

To whatever way

It passes through us

To others.

As artists, and, really,

As human beings,

We are vessels

For truth, justice and love.

May we be effective vessels

To change the world around us

For the better.

Is all good art about happiness,

Light and beauty?

Is it about being positive,

Affirming truth,

And selling a message?

Well, yes and no.

It should, in the end,

Reveal some kind of truth,

But, as human beings,

All we have to do

Is live our lives,

And we reveal truth.

It is built into creation.

It is a building block

Of all life.

Creation is just a creative thing.

Life is truth.

So, just create, feel absolutely free

To go wherever your spirit leads you.

You can’t help but create something

That has some redeeming quality.

How entertaining, successful,

Or profitable it turns out to be,

Is another story.

But don’t worry about that.

Just use the gifts God gives you,

No matter how big or small,

And God will use you, somehow,

Even if it is just to teach you something

About yourself, or someone close to you,

Or, perhaps, something important to you,

Like your life, or your art.

Life is a learning process,

And so is creativity.

They are inseparable from each other.

So,  do your thing,

Whatever it is,

And don’t think about the results,

Too much.

Just think about life.

We can all relate to that.

Believe.

What does that mean?

Seems it’s gotten torn, and crushed,

Manipulated in the extreme.

Does it mean discriminate,

If you are the privileged religion?

Does it mean murder,

If you are against

What one person chooses to do

Inside their own body,

At a health care facility?

Does it mean denying

Someone’s legal right

To publicly affirm

Their love and commitment

For someone who

Is very special in their life,

And grasp the privileges

That most of us take for granted?

Why?

Why does belief

Have anything to do

With all this?

What really justifies

These obviously immoral actions?

Why do so many

Delude themselves

Into thinking

It is okay?

Let’s choose love, instead.

Let’s choose freedom,

Equality, tolerance, compassion.

Imagine yourself

On the other side.

Imagine how you would feel,

What you would think,

What you would do,

If people took away your choices,

Just because of their beliefs.

Doesn’t it seem silly,

Crazy, horrific, sad, shocking,

Doesn’t it seem so wrong?

I think if you’re honest with yourself,

You can see these truths,

You can see the light

That you fool yourself

Into thinking that you already see

Just because of what you believe,

What you claim

Comes from a God

Who surrendered his powers

In every way, except to love.

That is what you should believe.

Perhaps, you should think again,

And stop using

What you believe

As an excuse.

Perhaps, it is not really

What you believe, after all.

It is a delusion,

Passed on for many years,

Accepted without question.

It is a lie.

Why should anyone

Bend or bow?

Why do they have to

Compromise?

These crazy hoops

The establishment

Creates for all of us,

The silly rules,

The ridiculous laws,

The absurd regulations.

They only serve

The very few.

Do most people

Really care?

No.

Most people

Do not benefit

Or have any

Interest in these

Stupid excuses

For harassment.

Those who do

Are not the majority.

Let’s get rid

Of all of it.

Let’s stop

Playing God

With people’s

Everyday lives,

People’s precious time,

People’s private spaces.

These should be

Off limits.

If it doesn’t really

Interfere,

Why keep this stuff

On the books?

Privilege is wrong.

Discrimination is wrong.

Harassment is wrong.

That’s what should

Be outlawed.

That’s what should be

Prosecuted,

Convicted,

Sentenced,

And penalized

Severely.

Let’s wake up

And fix

Our terribly

Broken

(In)Justice system.

Let’s turn things around,

And make our country

Into a land

Where dreams come true

For every citizen,

Not just

The privileged few,

The rich,

The powerful,

The white.

This has to change.

Attractive is not talking, for me.

It is keeping silent, without hostility.

Friendly is not talking, for me.

It is listening, with empathy.

Peaceful is not talking, for me.

It is being alone, without loneliness.

Activity is not action, for me.

It is thinking bold thoughts.

So, where does this take me?

Into a world full of dreams.

A world on the brink of something big,

Shaking the foundations

Of what we call normal.

Questioning everything.

Lifting up those

Who have been forgotten.

Loving the unlovable.

Caring about the underprivileged,

Who have a lot to give.

The disabled who may be quite able,

In their own way.

Recognizing the quiet voices,

Who deserve to be heard.

Why not?

Wouldn’t the world

Be a better place for it?

I think so.