Month: July 2014

Misery loves company,
Is what they say.
Then, I guess I am ready
For a party.

Fears and worries
Cloud my mind.
Terror runs
Down my spine.

Maybe I should stop
Being myself.
Maybe I should try
To be someone else.

Maybe I should wear a mask.
Maybe I should lie.
Maybe I should try
To be a better person.

But I do try,
And I fail.
I always find myself
Right back where I started.

Same old me,
With all my quirks and flaws,
All my hang-ups and obsessions.
I can only be who I am.

God made me this way,
So he must have had
Something special,
Something different,

Perhaps,
Something twisted, in mind.
Can God be twisted?
Some think so.

Either way, I think
He can use me,
No matter how twisted
I am.

Leaving from my current mindset,
I explore other worlds in time and space.
Running from the threat of judgment,
Hoping for a better day.

When I inch out onto the edge,
And I peer down into the valley,
Echoes of screams and thunder
Penetrate my sound barrier.

Risks are risks, no matter the kind.
When you try something new,
Or revisit something old,
That has laid dormant for too long,

There is a price to be paid.
The know-it-alls and criticizers
Hover around the easy kill,
Someone new to feed on.

I know when I write
That there are those
That will think otherwise.
They will think of themselves

As better than me.
No, that can’t be said!
You have broken the rules, they’ll cry.
But I cannot be silent.

I must speak my truth,
The way I see it,
And the way I feel it,
For truth is its own virtue.

Naming things brings
Peace to my heart.
Claiming people
Pushes them apart.

Do you dare,
And do you dare?
Pushing people
Into boxes

Causes trouble
For the bourgeoisie.
Claiming I’m from Texas
Wouldn’t be honesty.

Let us make a plan.
Something carefree!
Let us kick the man
To the curb, icily.

Let’s have fun!
Let’s make a pun.
Let’s go far!
Let’s be who we are.

Do you understand
What I contemplate?
Do you dream at night
Of what could be your fate?

We are a team,
You and me.
We tip the servers,
Gracefully.

We give a clue
To the angel crowd.
We cheer for you!
We yell really loud!

“So, what is the point?”
You ask.
Take a swig
Out of my glass.

I will tell you plain,
If you do the same.
Run to me right now.
Then I’ll tell you how.

Hello, I am happy.
Well, maybe not.
I wonder,
What would it take?

Dreams come and go,
But sometimes one is special.
Sometimes you hold onto that dream
For a long, long time.

What would it take?
Since I am a dreamer,
There have been many
Over the years.

Back in high school,
I wanted to be a diplomat,
A peacemaker between nations.
Now I speak of peace to my readers.

In college,
I had several crazy ideas.
Everything from being a lead singer
Of a rock band (that started in high school, actually),

To teaching students how to write.
Now I teach by example,
Writing on a computer,
Sending my words into the infinite destination

Of the internet.
Perhaps, it will last,
And perhaps,
It will fade away, like most things.

More recently,
I dreamed of getting published.
Now, that, too,
Has come to fruition.

Even in the antiquated realm
Of the printed book.
A group anthology,
And soon, my own.

Here’s hoping for success!

Deaf ears don’t hear
The cries of the needy.
Proud minds judge harshly
The broken souls in our midst.

Do you know
What God is whispering?
Love.
That’s it.

That’s all you need to know.
Visit the suffering.
Feed the hungry.
Give to the poor.

Follow in the gentle footsteps
Of the Son of Man.
Help those around you
Who need it.

Be merciful.
Forgive those who hurt you.
Forgive yourself.
Forgive God, if you blame him.

Let us all be kind to each other.
Let’s create a peaceful world.
Jesus did not tell us
To turn the other cheek

Because it is weak.
Turning the other cheek
Takes great inner strength.
Loving your enemy

Takes a very strong person,
Someone who is filled with
The Holy Spirit.
Not many can do it.

Pray hard.
Love with all your heart.
Give good gifts.
Be the person God created you to be.

Bursting forth with soliloquies
Seems to be my Hamlet-esque style.
To try to connect:
The poet’s thorn in his flesh.

To comment, to instigate,
To rouse the troops,
To seek to inspire, to grieve,
To challenge, and, yes, to complain.

These things I am good at.
Always have been.
I’m a dreamer.
For some reason,

This is how God has blessed me.
Sometimes it seems like a curse.
(And not just for me, as many
Of my family and friends can attest!)

I like what I write.
I like my thoughts, my feelings,
My ideas, my dreams.
I hope that, at least once,

I can say something
That makes someone feel
A little better,
A little less alone,

And a little more
Like they matter,
That what they think,
And what they feel,

Are important.
Yes, I am speaking to you,
And you, and you…
Let’s be friends, okay?

Here I stand,
Wondering when
My conscience went on vacation.
Oh, there it is!

Showing up a little late.
Why do I have
Such a disconnect
Between what I feel,

And what I believe?
Perhaps it is because
I am deluded in thinking
I can defy God,

But not reap
The ugly consequences.
Love, not lust,
Is what makes the world go round,

Despite what the television
And the radio say.
God is in control,
But he does not force us

To love him.
He does not make us
Do the right thing.
We are free to get into

As much trouble
As we have an appetite for.
Freedom is scary sometimes,
But I would not have it any other way.

Linger, crazy, tipping slowly.
Cringe callously, kooky. Keep
Sinking slowly. Languid help.
North is pointing upside down.

You frown so silently.
So funky. So sleepy.
Deeply, I feel you creeping
Up my leg, gracefully.

Angel tipping toward my home,
Come down to be with me.
Lips shine glossy, silky.
Legs long, capture my attention.

Cringing inside,
I know it’s all wrong.
I’m inside out, and falling daily.
My roots are where I need to go,

To find an answer for my soul.
God is waiting behind that door,
To bless my life with joy and peace.
It sounds so easy.

Happy hello,
A gentle nudge.
Grasping for love
In the wispy air.

Echoes of loneliness
Throb through my body.
To be alone again
Terrifies my heart.

What if I make a mistake?
Something impulsive, perhaps?
Something desperate.
What if I cry out,

For something real,
Something true?
If only I could feel
Like I wasn’t alone.

I would like to bury
These insecure feelings,
But they dig their way out
Every time.

Can you meet me
Somewhere, discretely?
No, that would be wrong.
Let’s just be happy

With what we have.
Let’s just continue
To be lonely.
It is the right thing to do,

Though I ache down deep
For something to fill
These chasms in my soul.
If only…