Author: Gordon S. Bowman III

Round and round,

My toes go in a ring.

My mind goes

On a

S

T

R

I

N

G

.

A very

Skinny

Thing.

An apple. Gone.

*(Written 2010-2011)

I’m sitting here thinking,

And then I start blinking.

I cannot remember where

I put that thing–no.

Where and when.

Why and who.

I don’t get it.

I give up.

Don’t take my word,

Take my life, please.

*(Written in 2010-2011)

Love exists

Before, and after, pain.

Sometimes, I don’t know he’s here.

Sometimes, I don’t feel him.

But, he is.

He surrounds me, he fills

My mind with thoughts,

And my lungs with breath,

And keeps my heart beating.

He helps me to keep going,

No matter how hard life seems.

He gives me comfort,

When there is no comfort.

He holds my hand,

When I am all alone.

I wait on him, sometimes,

For what seems like forever,

But, what I don’t realize,

Is that he has been here all the time,

Just waiting for me to say his name.

Thank you, Jesus.

Religion.  Who needs it?

I do, and you do, apparently,

But, perhaps, not for the reasons

You might think.

We create institutions

To organize, control,

Gain power over others,

And their money.

To gain commitments

Of time and energy,

To funnel resources

To causes and beliefs

That we care about.

But does all that stuff

Really matter to God?

Wouldn’t he rather

We just love and accept each other,

And get on with living

A life of love?

Do we have to build,

And collect, and instigate?

Why don’t we just

Keep it simple?

Let’s just love each other.

Perhaps, we do gain something

From our religion.

We learn truth,

And we receive grace,

At least, theoretically.

But if we don’t put it

Into practice, what good is it?

Grace abounds,

Though we don’t deserve it.

God loves us,

No matter the sin.

Sometimes, what we do

Seems beyond forgiveness.

The pain we cause

Can be extreme.

But it is all the same

To the loving Father.

He cannot stay angry

With his beloved children.

He loves us too much.

He wants to be close to us,

To be a part of our lives.

This is for what he created us.

His love is everlasting,

As far as the east is from the west.

Deeper than the oceans,

Higher than the tallest mountain.

It encircles the universe.

So, come and embrace his gift to you.

The gift is himself.

Come, and be loved.

Deep down

My heart wears a frown,

My soul crawls around,

Weeping in ashes,

Clawing the ground,

Not making a sound.

Can you feel

The blade made of steel,

Stabbing my soul?

Yes, that’s how I feel.

How I want, so much

For Jesus to heal

These wounds that bleed me.

And so I kneel

At God’s alter of love,

For a holy meal

Hoping to be touched

By something real.

Is God here with me?

I hope he will say,

“I love you today.

“I have heard you pray.

“I will always stay

“Very close to you,

“When you are afraid.

“So please ask me anything.

“I will hear what you say,

“Every day.

“So take your burdens,

“At my feet you can lay

“Them down to stay.”

I know he’s with me,

Even though my pain

Is as wide as the sea.

I hope to be

What he wants me to be.

So many worries, you see.

I want to be free.

So, here I stay,

On my knees.

Tick, tock, watch the clock,

Wonder how I had that thought.

Getting up is such a chore

When your feet won’t touch the floor.

I don’t know what I thought

When I set the clock for nought.

Crazy, seems, to get out

Of these comfy covers, now.

Do you blame me, even so,

For being tired and moving slow?

I’ll be up, soon as I

Catch a little more shut-eye.

Before I pray, I want to know:

Will God hurt me?

Will he betray me?

What if he gets mad at me

Like he did to some people

In the Bible?

What if the bad things

About God in the Bible are true?

What if the good things

Are not true?

What if God rejects me?

What if he tells me

To kill someone?

What if he tells me

To leave my family and friends?

There are scary things

About God that worry me.

There are scary things

About love that worry me.

To fully trust someone

Is to put your life

In their hands,

No holding back.

Is God worthy

Of my trust?

Someone as powerful

As God is scary to me.

Just think

Of what he could do to me

If he hates me.

Does God hate me?

Unknown scary times blood

Pain loneliness risk sacrifice

Clouds blocking views of spirit

Wisdom lies truth hidden haze

Mystery paradox brokenness

Willful must persevere pushing

Finding truth twists turns holes

Caves water washes all light

Movement vision climbing out

Relationship love giving faith

Connection cooperation trust

Sharing family friends support

Betrayal loss gifts rejection hard

Callous abyss hell separation 

Alone abandoned suffering bed

Home reunion past memories

Confusion haunting ghosts real

Power beloved life freedom

Journey meeting meal being