“Neither a borrower nor a lender be.”
William Shakespeare
This is a cynical philosophy, and yet it is based on a truth that we call can learn from life experience. The act of borrowing compromises our integrity because we loan out our reputation and dignity to another person by, first, admitting that we need something enough to promise to return it, thus establishing an attachment to the lender which is potentially unhappy, since there is a good chance, life being what it is, that we will not be able to make good on our promise, thus allowing our reputation and dignity to sink even lower.
Being a lender is the flip side of this situation, but with a twist. A lender is someone who gives, but expects back. He might put a timetable on the return, and he might charge a fee or interest. This inevitably makes the borrower resentful, even if everything is on the up and up. It might be honest on both sides, but the situation itself creates the tension. No matter which side you’re on, the results cannot be good.
Carry on Tuesday #114
Stumbling along the sidewalk 
I like it!
I hadn’t thought about the downside of being a lender. You made the delivery look easy and I know how hard that is.
Good thoughts. It’s better to stand on one’s own two feet if at all possible. And lending or borrowing can indeed break up relationships, especially with family, friends, etc. But I also think that being in debt to someone (not necessarily monetarily) can be a good thing. It can be humbling to know that one can’t do it all on one’s own and I think it can also foster compassion in people.
Sometimes people should do things on their own and “pull themselves up by their bootstraps” (it builds character, etc.), but it is true too that people often genuinely need help, are grateful to get it, and eventually “pay it forward”. This more positive side likely has more to do with “giving” rather than “lending”, I think. But borrowing can also build character, i.e. as in someone taking out a loan and enjoying the pride of paying it all back.
So many different sides to the issue. Thanks for posting. 🙂
I agree, pixie. In fact, you took the words right out of my mouth. Looking back, I realized that I had not included my own experience that gives balance to the problem, that of giving. Giving provides resolution where there is tension, it fulfills needs instead of taking advantage of them. You are right that a loan payoff gives dignity, and that is something they do in Africa for very poor people. Provide a very small loan and expect it to be paid back. Not sure if these are low interest loans or not. I hope so. We in the USA know firsthand the trouble that comes when banks loan to those who can’t afford to pay back. It is dangerous. But oh how nice when someone comes along, like Habitat for Humanity, and gives out of the goodness of their heart. I truly believe their is more dignity earned on both sides in that situation. Out local homeless shelter is another example. They don’t just provide meals and a roof over one’s head. They also teach the homeless skills so that they can find a way out of homelessness. These wonderful resources give without taking. That’s what it’s all about.
Thank you for your post, and your points.