Day: July 20, 2014

Bursting forth with soliloquies
Seems to be my Hamlet-esque style.
To try to connect:
The poet’s thorn in his flesh.

To comment, to instigate,
To rouse the troops,
To seek to inspire, to grieve,
To challenge, and, yes, to complain.

These things I am good at.
Always have been.
I’m a dreamer.
For some reason,

This is how God has blessed me.
Sometimes it seems like a curse.
(And not just for me, as many
Of my family and friends can attest!)

I like what I write.
I like my thoughts, my feelings,
My ideas, my dreams.
I hope that, at least once,

I can say something
That makes someone feel
A little better,
A little less alone,

And a little more
Like they matter,
That what they think,
And what they feel,

Are important.
Yes, I am speaking to you,
And you, and you…
Let’s be friends, okay?

Here I stand,
Wondering when
My conscience went on vacation.
Oh, there it is!

Showing up a little late.
Why do I have
Such a disconnect
Between what I feel,

And what I believe?
Perhaps it is because
I am deluded in thinking
I can defy God,

But not reap
The ugly consequences.
Love, not lust,
Is what makes the world go round,

Despite what the television
And the radio say.
God is in control,
But he does not force us

To love him.
He does not make us
Do the right thing.
We are free to get into

As much trouble
As we have an appetite for.
Freedom is scary sometimes,
But I would not have it any other way.

Linger, crazy, tipping slowly.
Cringe callously, kooky. Keep
Sinking slowly. Languid help.
North is pointing upside down.

You frown so silently.
So funky. So sleepy.
Deeply, I feel you creeping
Up my leg, gracefully.

Angel tipping toward my home,
Come down to be with me.
Lips shine glossy, silky.
Legs long, capture my attention.

Cringing inside,
I know it’s all wrong.
I’m inside out, and falling daily.
My roots are where I need to go,

To find an answer for my soul.
God is waiting behind that door,
To bless my life with joy and peace.
It sounds so easy.

Happy hello,
A gentle nudge.
Grasping for love
In the wispy air.

Echoes of loneliness
Throb through my body.
To be alone again
Terrifies my heart.

What if I make a mistake?
Something impulsive, perhaps?
Something desperate.
What if I cry out,

For something real,
Something true?
If only I could feel
Like I wasn’t alone.

I would like to bury
These insecure feelings,
But they dig their way out
Every time.

Can you meet me
Somewhere, discretely?
No, that would be wrong.
Let’s just be happy

With what we have.
Let’s just continue
To be lonely.
It is the right thing to do,

Though I ache down deep
For something to fill
These chasms in my soul.
If only…