Twisted

Crying, sweeping self from shores long served.
Dead, again so dry, so off, so…nothing itself.
Stuffed sameness swiped forth factoid run-arounds.
Regurgitating reality run through the ringer.

Rejection again. Feeling down to the bone, boneless.
Slick words go down like chunks of rock and ash.
Intentions disbelieved and promises uncounted on
Still bite just as strongly or all the worse the same.

Laughing in ironic mockery strikes like a knife to the spirit,
Hopes torn, then chopped, then diced, then liquefied to boot.
Trust betrayed at every turn, never knowing what face will
Appear at the next turn of the screw, cutting right through.

Unimportant

Solo subjection to professional opinion,
Legalese and doctoral battle for dominion.
Something smells inside this shell,
Rotten carcasses show me to hell.

Know-it-alls and better-than-yous come forth
To brag and pulverize the humble.
Beneath and beside don’t matter in here,
The worker ants are just fodder.

Looking for a chink in everyone’s armor,
Taking note of it all while taking it all.
Nothing left for the little man,
No man at all.

Equal access to no access,
Pawns played in a players’ game.
Casualties are only noted
As a notch to count for the win.

Feeding the Beast

Stub your toe and see what you get.
The miser watches, he flies ahead.
He keeps your purse in his greedy hands.
He holds your future, his power is grand.

The miser can throw you to the wolves,
If his mood is dark enough and bold.
He can take from you every dollar,
And he won’t listen, when you holler.

When living in the miser’s tent,
You scrimp and save to pay the rent.
When working for the miser’s pay,
It’s “do this now, or else” each day.

Not an easy place to be.
Not ideal, by any means.
My wife and I get by, at least,
So every day, I feed the beast.

Swampland

Whip it through!
Look out, you don’t know
What’s coming from over
The hedge on the hill!

Do you have the password
Memorized yet? It stands
Over your head, wondering
What your next move will be.

Climbing up the tree,
You might find the answer
To the agony. The treasure
Is buried under his teeth.

Tricks lay waiting just behind
The righteous angle or in
Between the elbow native.
Trunk seething swordplay.

Sharp tangles echoing out
From everywhere around you.
The puzzle of the land
And the water comes back.

Fighting foes of nature
Feels like friendly animation
Come to capture you in
Its web of creature feature.

Swamp thing cries out
For blood and creeps up
Behind the innocent
Angel-eyed youngster.

What will be next
Between the rivals,
And when will the possum
Be ready for supper?

truth and treasure

drumming so slowing so coming be something
looking so screaming so crawling so being
drinking so lifting so splitting so changing

coming through something closes in and
then a truth breaks free, breaks in, breaks down
barriers are buried and sticks in the mud

are pulled out. so what’s the truth? is there
such thing as truth? is there anything true?
anything trustworthy? is there anything safe?

anything worth investing our lives in?
is there anything worth living for?
can we trust ourselves to make a sound

and clear judgement? is that possible,
in these times? can we break free of media
bombardment and peer pressure?

what other factors cause us to twist our
values, change our minds, compromise our
priorities? where is your heart?

there is your treasure.

Reaching Out

Reaching out takes reaching in
For something stable, something strong.
Sharing of feelings, thoughts and struggles
Takes strength, trust, and bravery.

Those who always keep their heart
Closed tighter than a coffin,
Buried six feet under a swaggering attitude
And a big bright smile,

Don’t really know what it’s like
To connect, to hold another’s heart
In your hand, gently, oh so gently
And give it back when they are ready.

To give healing, and to receive it back,
There must be two persons willing to risk
A broken heart, a cold shoulder, a deadly stare.
To risk rejection is not easy, and it is not done

Lightly, or carelessly, when it is really done.
To give another something you hold dear,
If only for a moment, is like risking a fortune,
And takes more fortitude. But the gamble

Is for wonders immeasurable,
Jewels much more precious:
Understanding, acceptance, compassion.
These treasures are priceless.

Broken

Searching for that connection.
Where is he? She? It?
Where or who is God,
When I am here, in this broken

Body, groveling before the pain
Of existence, desperate for some
Type of relief, some release
From the slavery of my body?

My heart aches. My soul cries out
For mercy, but where is my God?
Where is that freedom, that grace,
That hope, that love, that I once knew?

Where is my identity in Christ?
Where is my savior?
All I know right now is suffering.
Is that you, Lord?

Am I meeting you where you are,
Where you were on that cross?
And if so, what will be the victory?
What great battle is going on?

Is my soul the battleground?
Is my heart the prize?
Is this what it takes to bring me
Back into your fold?

To break me, mold me,
Shape me into something beautiful?
But I have been here before.
I have been broken.

Must I be continually broken
In pain and suffering?
What are you trying to teach me?
And where are you taking me now?

Digging for Truth

Deep down, I dig to the bottom.
What lies in this hidden depth?
Fear, grief, rage, confusion…
It rocks my reason, clouds my vision.

But what is the answer?
Where is the road out of this darkened wood?
Is it faith? Trust? Logic? Courage? Peace?
Is Love the answer? Where will it take me?

Right now everything is scary.
I feel caught in a cage,
In chains, buried deep underneath
Miles of ground, isolated by time,

Place, and no relationships that bring
Relief, connection, revelation, peace.
Anxiety rules the roost, it conquers all.
Fear is my father, abandonment is my mother.

Rage is my brother, grief is my sister.
This is my family. My friends are shadows,
Ghosts in a mist that only evaporate in my
Hands when I reach out to hold their hands.

I am lost in my mirrors, erroring in my program,
Nothing makes sense, nothing works.
What is the truth? Who is my savior?
From where does my salvation come?

Daring to Dream Again

Jumping in, swimming through, climbing up.
The journey continues, the effort is never done.
The edges come and go, the valleys grow lower,
But the mountain tops promise greater visions.

Oh, to be at the mountain top, to feel the wind,
The look down on the struggle, to look back at
The despair, to consider the overcoming of it all.
To be there, and not here, is my desire.

I look up into the mystical sky above my mind,
It stirs my heart in wonder, to dare to dream again!
To open myself to what is next, not in dread,
But in hope, in excitement, in aspiration and ambition.

To try again, to strive, to seek another endeavor,
To challenge oneself, again and again, that is what
Life is all about: growth, relationship, victory!
Oh, to be victorious once again! To be at peace!

Gargoyle

Desperately seeking freedom
From a wretched thing, a scowling,
Grey, hairy, saber-toothed gargoyle
Spirit, waiting in the wings.

To escape, to unlock the door of this
Stifling, suffocating, claustrophobic
Coffin of an existence, in despair,
In loathing, in terror, waiting for

The next moment to pass by,
Wondering simply how I can bear
Another second in this mind, this
Twisted mind, this gifted, but tainted

Mind, with its chemical imbalances,
Its phantoms of the past, rearing their
Ugly heads and screaming through the
Halls of my soul, stalking my every thought,

Taking notes, taking tallies, making plans,
Growing stronger every day, feeding on my
Nightmares, breaking through my every
Conscious thought and feeling, a parasite

That thrives in my body as a clock
Thrives on time, counting, heaping
More and more moments upon each
Other, burying myself beneath it.