Howdy, Cuz, where ya been?
I’ve been right here without you.
How do you feel
When things go your way?

Sometimes I like to pray.
Sometimes I decide just to stay
Home with my wife.
What did you do today?

I creamed an innocent bystander
That was crossing the road
In front of me.
How was your morning?

Nothing exciting
Happened to me lately.
How about you?
I’m just as gay as I am everyday.

Sometimes I wonder,
What makes the moon
Shine so bright?
After all, it’s just a big rock, right?

Yes, I know, sunlight and all that,
But it still is strange,
Don’t you think?
I think so, anyway.

So, go play outside.
Go round up little dogies
And all that, okay?

What is the password
For something sneaky?
What is your solution
To world poverty?

Something original,
Something neat.
Something good for you,
Maybe even something sweet.

So, what would you like to say
To all our viewers out there
who wonder why
The rain falls so softly?

Why do I get drenched
When I run swiftly
Through the rain?

How many times do I have to tell you?
There is no free ride in this world!
When I was your age we watched tv,
Ate hot dogs and potato chips

And fought constantly.
What’s in your wallet?
I definitely feel like I
Won’t be spending

All night at the Late Night Library.